Heart Break Blues..

The Nocturnal World of Ivan...

Heart Break Blues..

Logical ways to live and deal with it...Ivan Lim

ACCEPTENCE...

Things to do:

There are basically 4 important things to do.

First, ANALYSE and ASSESS the heart break situation carefully. Use logic and reason to determine what causes the heart break situation. Examine thoroughly all relevent facts. What are your possible damage? Do not be ignorant of the relevant facts.Wrong assessment of the situation will be very harmful. It will aggravate the situation.

Do not let your emotions and weary mind control you. Have an OPEN MIND....Take some time to think and rethink. Allow your self that time to think. Do not rush into things without thinking ...OR when ever appropriate, seeking third parties' opinion will be good.

Secondly, ASK if the heart break situation that you are facing may be AVOIDED. Avoiding does not equate to running away from the problem. It means solving the problem. Eg quitting alcohol to save a marriage...If there are such opportunities, plan your actions and be disciplined. If a small sacrifice can save you the problem...implement it !!!!!!.

Thirdly, if it is not possible to avoid the problem, then see if you can MINIMISE THE POTENTIAL DAMAGE... Think and rethink..ANALYSE and ASSESS. Deal with the problem... and your is main goal is to CUT LOSSES... Eg in business ...if you are making heavy loses every month...you have the choice of either changing your business strategy or simply quit the business to minimise damage.

Lastly, if you can't minimise the damage, fully ACCEPT THE FACT that the problem is irreparable ....and always remind your self that with or without the problem, YOUR LIFE MUST GO ON, NO MATTER HOW.

FORGET SILLY THINGS LIKE COMMITING SUICIDE AND INFLICTING VIOLENCE . Please take note. Value your life.

Having the blues... Living with a heart break? Dreams shattered? Sleepless nights? Missing your love? Lonely?

I have based my writing on personal exprerience and on useful information gathered from certain motivation books.

In actual fact, I am not a "heart" theraphist ...nor is my job related to this field...Nope I am not a specialist.

I do divorce cases hence i under stand all about heart breaks.

I will write in a non technical but practical manner...my own opinion on how to deal with the problem.

I am not going to define what "heart break" situations are...you know what they are.

Lets define the situation that breaks your heart as "heart break situation". It is a cruel "fact" and it will certainly disturb you in many ways.

The heart break situation may be caused by a fault or neglect of human or by other things. Common examples : divorce, separation, failure in business and death of a loved one.

The heart break situation brings about stress ...and imbalances to your life... hence effecting your 'mood' and concerntration. It generally breaks the normal you down in many ways.

Everything ...no matter how interesting... will inevitably look grey and colourless..The negative state of mind will be activated ...resulting you to react and think in a irrational manner.

There will be regrets and anger... There will be hatred and insatisfaction... which causes "mental" pain.Very often you will feel lonely and helpless.

If you are expreriencing any one or more of the above symptons, it is obvious that YOU ARE OVERWHELMED BY THE HEART BREAK SITUATION.

It is perfectly normal to be upset, dissapointed and angry under such circumstances. Humans are after all humans.

POST HEART BREAK :

From this point onwards, you got to fully accept the heart break situation and live with it for a "short" while...do not avoid or run away from it. Acceptence doesn't comes easy. Your emotions, anger, negativity and hatred are hard to swallow...But you got to do it.

You may need sometime alone to BALANCE YOUR MIND AND TO NORMALISE YOURSELF.

However, you will also need COMPANY. This is not the time to be lonely. Mix with the right company ..choose trusted friends or family members... or engage in new activities Eg..sign up for dancing classes, take meditation or yoga lessons.

You can certainly choose share your grievences with trusted friends or family members...POUR YOUR HEART OUT...Let them know your heart break situation. Be honest with them. If you want empathy, thats fine...but if you need feedback or opinions...be prepared to listen what others have got to say. LET GO and LET GO. Let it out of your system.

SHED A FEW TEARS..it will relieve and soothen your mind..this is a form of "natural theraphy"..Even guys do cry.

Allow your self to be "ABNORMAL" FOR A SHORT WHILE..after all you are human. You have feelings and emotions. However, make sure that this period is not too long...at most give your self a week or so. The longer the period, the more stressful you are.

Humans react naturally to stress by being tensed.You lose sleep because you are tensed. You think too much because you are tensed.you have bad complexion because you are tensed. You lose hair because you are tensed. You get dehydrated because you are tensed.Hence you will be totally worked up at the end of the 1 week!!!!

You are overwhelmed by the situation ..and obviously you dont enjoy your feelings. You may miss the real sense of security ..you sense that you missed something important.

Sometimes heart break situations makes us feel very uncertain and demotivated..Haha alchohol, cigarettes and drugs will not help you here. Do not get obssessed with things like food ... Have a SENSIBLE AND SOBER MIND. Avoid silly behavior.

Do not suppress these unpleasant feelings immediately ..feel them. Tell your self that you are disturbed by these negative feelings.

These feelings are all created by your mind. In actual fact, your mind is disturbing you. You are the master of your own mind.

You can be abnormal for a short while, its human. ..but always keep an eye on your health and other important things such as career.Try to have some amount of sleep and rest...and drink lots of water. Not a good time to fall sick...Dont neglect these things and get another problem....you cant handle too many problems at one go!!!!!!

Start THINKING POSITIVELY AND LOOK AT THINGS FROM THE BRIGHT SIDE.

Heart break means changes in life...We cannot avoid changes anyway...so learn to live with changes. After all the old situation may not be too ideal for you.

What appears to be "losing" could be a winning game sometimes. You may get to meet exciting new things and ...live a new interesting live. You will never know.

Do not live in the pain of yesterday and fear the uncertainities of tomorrow...Technically you can only live for today.

Change your thinking and your live will change.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION...STAY TUNED !!!