The Nocturnal World of Ivan...

Detecting a lie ...and jokes about modern day bitches

Bitch....(for entertainment purpose and no insults are intended)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

"..... the word bitch is often employed in a metaphorical sense to either insult a woman, or to describe one who is malicious, spiteful, domineering, intrusive, and/or unpleasant (it may also refer to an effeminate male).

This page is NOT about hating woman. I don't discriminate against stupidity, arrogance, irresponsibility, bloated egos, or immaturity on the basis of gender.

HBI

Do you want to SMACK women who play "helpless" just to gain male attention and stroke male egos?

Icy Checkmark! Have you run out of sympathy for your Female friends who continually whine about how awful MEN ARE, but then they keep dating the same kind of ASSHOLES, over and OVER, AND OVER AGAIN!?

Icy Checkmark! Are you sick of lazy women who use emotional and sexual manipulation to get what they want instead of using their own brains and muscles?

Have you HAD IT with people telling you that you are TOO LOUD, TOO ASSERTIVE, or TOO OPINIONATED?

LIES:

Blatant lies from the mouth of a pretty bitch ....(for entertainment purpose and no insults are intended).

Bitch.

Statement:

"I don't go out on many dates..."

Lie. This one immediately sets off my bullshit detector. Why do girls say this all the time? What do they want? Protceting a good image?...sympathy? A girl may claim that she rarely went on dates.. yet every night of the week she hangs out in the club dancing and flirting with guys. Hmm... going out, flirting and hanging around with guys.. sounds like the equivalent of a date to me... hahaaa

Statement:

"I 'm not really seeing anyone..."

Lie. "...except for Jack, but he's just a friend.. and then there's Charlie, but it's nothing more than get together. I'm kind of seeing Rupert on the side, but he is single and i dont want to be tied down by relationship right now.. then there's Eddie, but he's a mechanic.. oh he's so nice, but I can't settle down with someone like him because he has no future and I need commitment .. John .. Jacob .. Mark .. blah blah blah blah blah" SOMEBODY TURN HER OFF. You dont want to find a guy, yet all you do is talk about other guys. Great move. No wonder you can't find anyone. Here's a hint: quit flirting around. Maybe someone will eventually respect you enough to treat you more than just a sex object. "I didn't do

Statement:

"I didn't do anything over the week end "

Lie. This translates into... so I'll give you the false impression that I live a modest life sitting at home and reading over my weekends, so you'll have to find out what I really did from people talking behind my back." This is probably closer to the truth than most people think. And don't mail me some politically correct rant saying "well not every girl is like that blah blah blah..." I know that not every girl is like that. Nobody cares.

Statement :

"Looks doesnt matter to me"

Lie. Looks don't matter, MY ASS. Looks matter. Any girl that says "looks don't matter" is in denial. Proof? The good looking jerks that treat women like shit always get the women. Hahaahahaha

Statement :

"I just broked up with my boy friend and I will not date for a while" while"

Lie. It may sound like they're not cheap gals going from one guy immediately to the next, but come the first good looking jerk with slick hair and a nice car, and she'll be with him the next day.

Statement :

"I like to have fun "

Lie. Some girls I've talked to have been so shallow, that when asked what they like to do, she'll simply say "I like to have fun.." No shit? I thought you liked being bored like the rest of us. What kind of answer is "I like to have fun.." Who doesn't like to have fun? They tell me that they like music, "all kinds" of music, of course. This is all torture to me. Why should I waste my time with someone so damn boring?

The problem is that some BITCHES thinks that all guys are stupid and they can get away with such statements and lame excuses...and get respect form men..It speaks alot alot about their estimation about men.Pretty immature and unrealistic.Hahaha

"All alike, you men. You only want the satisfaction of being through with us first, that's all. So far I've had the good fortune of beating you to it. So I am heartless."

-- Greta Garbo, from the movie Inspiration (1931)

What makes you so Heartless... is it your intolerance for the idiots and weakminded of the world? Is it the fact that you are assertive or aggressive in going after what you want? Is it because you refuse to be a "nice" girl? Is it the way you run your life according to your own dictates?

WORDS...WHAT THEY ACTUALLY MEAN...:

"I like to look good, that makes me a tease. I like to eat, that makes me a pig. I like to get off, that makes me a slut. I like to be treated with respect, that makes me a man-hating dyke. Trust me, I have no problem being labeled a bitch." -Maddy

"You are such a nice guy but i guess I am not your type...I hope this will not spoil our friendship in anyway...Do keep in touch ok?" WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN: You are not my type of guy...you bore me to death. As long as you quit bothering me..we can still be friends.Hahahaha this trick works most of the time and you will not call the gal a bitch.What happens next most of the time is... she will not keep in touch with you and will find ways to avoid you.

"Honestly I appreciate your company but i am not into relationships..."WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN: I have seen better guys and i enjoy flirting with different guys and hang out at other places..you may be good but just not good enough for me.

HBI

The BITCH List...

(A list of personality types we've all seen or met in our time) msn guy middle finger.jpg

1.    Sporty bitches that look like men.
2.    Alcoholic bitches that look stupid when pissed.
3.    Oriental bitches in James Bond films/60s series who can't act
      properly and try to sound sexy but end up sounding stupid instead.
4.    Bitches who say "Look at me, I'm fat!!" when they know damn
      well that they're not.
5.    Bitches who bore their friends by going on about their
      boyfriend all the time.
6.    Bitches who think they're "everyone's favourite girl".
7.    Malicious bitches who spread rumours and stir up trouble.
8.    Bitches who leave soaps to make crappy records.
9.    Ugly bitches who everyone seems to fancy for some reason.
10.   Bitches who everyone's had.
11.   Rebel bitches in Australian soaps who chew gum, have short
      hair (sometimes highlighted with purple), nasal accents and badly
      acted bad attitudes.
12.   Dinner lady bitches in schools who'd think they could boss you
      around.
13.   Ugly bitches who think that you fancy them and start acting
      stupid...
14.   ...their friends.
15.   Black bitches who wear black clothing - this never suits them.
16.   Model bitches with airbrushed-out defects who every girl
      aspires to be.
17.   Bitches who do something they know is regrettably stupid like
      cut/perm/dye their hair, and get defensive by saying "...I can do
      what I want it's my hair etc etc" when you comment/take the piss.
18.   Bitches who think you're staring at them and think that you do
      so because you fancy them.
19.   Black bitches who shake their naked asses about in rap videos.
20.   Sterotypical, timid, Oriental bitches called "May Ling" who,
      in films get ill-treated by everbody.
21.   Indie bitches who have this arrogant "I hate everything and
      I'm so cool" attitude (usually band members).
22.   Fake bitches on films/TV who everybody fancies and who'd
      disappear if all their make-up and silicone implants were removed
      (no names mentioned, ho ho!!)
23.   Dani Behr.
24.   Bitches in Period Dramas who say things like "You're being
      beastly to me!!"
25.   Bitches who peirce their ears all the way from the earlobe
      upwards.
26.   Smug bitches.
27.   Bitches in computer games who are designed purely by the male
      programmer as something to wank over.
28.   Ginger bitches with freckles *all over* their bodies.
29.   Ageing film star bitches who do lots of beauty treatment to
      make themselves look younger, but it never works, does it?
30.   Loud, American, 40+ bitches in films with really nasal voices.
31.   Tarty bitches in films who keep on keep on complaining about
      broken nails or high heels.
32.   Airhead bitches in Guns 'N Roses videos.
33.   Bitches who whisper about you to your friends in front of you.
34.   Bitches who everyone fancies - NEVER go for them!!
35.   Bitches who like boys to give them attention but would never
      go out with the boy giving the attention.
36.   Bitches who are always having problems with boys.
37.   Bitches who flirt with other boys, and then get their
      boyfriends on them afterwards.
38.   Rock bitches who either have serious atitude problems or hair
      dyed a stupid colour.
39.   Black American bitches who like get a cardiac
      whenever a black male goes out with someone who isn't black.
40.   Black American bitches who liked being called just that...
41.   Bitches who shriek really loudly in public.
42.   Bitches who faint at Take That concerts.
43.   Raver bitches who think they're really sexy.
44.   Bitches who take in all your compliments but at the hint of
      one negative statement hate you forever (well, that's all of them isn't
      it it?).
45.   Bitches who like to see boys fight over them - literally!
46.   Giggling little bitches.
47.   Gossiping bitches.
48.   Serious bitches with no sense of humour.
49.   Bitches who just irritate you.
50.   Arrogant bitches who talk to you only because they think they
      have to.
51.   Egotistical bitches who think that everybody fancies them.
52.   Bitches on airline travel commercials with really sickly sweet
      smiles.
53.   Bitches who date guys just for money.
54.   Bitches who only date guys who fit a pre-set racial criteria.
55.   Bitches in Japanese Manga cartoons with purple hair.
56.   The pig-ugly bitch back in school who nobody fancied and who
      stunk of piss.
57.   Common bitches that scream at people on estates.
58.   Indie bitches with unwashed hair.
59.   Russian hammer-throwing bitches called Helga.
60.   Bitches in porno movies with fake orgasms (and you thought
      they were real - after the amount of people *they've* had!?).
61.   Bitches who like to tease.
62.   Bitches who lead you on a long way and then try to get out of
      it afterwards.
63.   Bitches who try to draw attention to themselves (who said
      Courtney Love?).
64.   White American college kid bitches who think they're so
      "cute".
65.   Bitches who call you "cute" or "sweet".
66.   Glam bitches in American soap-operas withh fake blode hair.
67.   Bitches in porno films who NEVER take off their high heels.
68.   Bitches in banks who always stare at you carefully as if
      you're a criminal.
69.   Receptionist bitches on phones with attitude problems.
70.   Bitches who you attepmt to pull in clubs, get quarter of the
      way with by talking to for a while and then fuck off with your best
      friend half an hour later.
71.   Rude girls.
72.   Bitches who dislike you for no reason.
73.   Bitches who wear too much perfume.
74.   Dinner lady bitches who call you "Young man" (if you were
      male).
75.   Bitches who pierces their clitoris.
76.   Oriental bitches with bright red, day-glo lipstick (usually
      prostitutes).
77.   Bitches who become shitty when they get boyfriends...
78.   Bitches who go out with you but sleep with everyone but you...
79.   Bitches who are taller than you.
80.   Bitches who are shorter than you.
81.   Bitches who talk too much.
82.   Bitches who don't talk at all.
83.   Perfectly attractive bitches who do themselves no favours by
      cutting their hair or shaving it all off in the name of making some
      inane statement.
84.   Bitches who feel they have to slouch all over their boyfriends
      in public.
85.   Bitches who only go out with guys their friends tell them to
      date.
86.   Bitches on soaps to whom dating is their entire existence.
87.   Bitches who can never be straight with you and tell you how
      they really feel but have to beat about the bush and lie to you instead.
88.   Courtney Love (again!)
89.   bitches on computer games who always seem to be as hard as
      fuck when you fight them (but not when you control them).
90.   Bitches who get some sort of perverse pleasure out of
      manipulating men.
91.   Bitches who like to feel that they have power and control over
      everybody (and usually do not like those whom they cannot control).
92.   Bitches who never laugh at your jokes.
93.   Bitches who laugh (even when you're not making a joke).
94.   Bitches who undercut their hair (it looks stupid).
95.   Bitches who dye their hair colours that do not suit them.
96.   Bitches who boast about all the men they've flirted with and
      lead on.
97.   Bitches who don't know what the fuck they want.
98.   Bitches who date ugly TV stars to attain some fame status.
99.   Bitches who seem to be permanently on a period.
100. Goth bitches (well, I have absolutely nothing against Goath
      bitches - I just thought that I'd piss off Yak:) ).